In my practice I see many parents worry about food and whether or not their children are getting enough nutrients into their systems. They nag, threaten, bribe, and sometimes fight over meals. This type of tension is not conducive to getting kids to eat well.

So, what's going on? Why do kids not want to eat?

First, understand that kids have an abundance of taste buds which makes them more sensitive to different tastes and textures. (We begin to lose our taste-buds at the age of 21.) Second, kids' tastes in food are developing. Your child may not like asparagus right now, but may later. Third, kids don't have the patience to sit down to eat a whole meal for more than a few minutes.

So, rather than encouraging negative emotional associations with food, here are some suggestions from a few of my favorite experts: Dr. William Sears, author of The Successful Child, Dr. Cathryn Tobin, author of The Parent's Problem Solver, and Dr. Jane Nelsen, author of Positive Discipline A-Z .

12 Nutrition Tips for Picky Eaters

1. Watch out for foods that pollute the body such as those high in refined sugars, sodium, and hydrogenated fat. Keep these out of your child's diet as much as possible.

2. Good nutrition can biochemically program the body to crave only nutritious food. And, of course, the same can be said for the polluting foods where kids will crave junk food if they eat a lot of junk food.

3. Young kids do well with grazing or lots of mini-meals throughout the day. They eat when they're hungry and stop when they're full. Offer a selection of nutritious whole foods for them to choose from.

4. Try to stock your shelves with foods that are rich in nutrients rather than offering them food full of empty calories. Avocados, broccoli, cheese, slices of hard boiled eggs, chunks of fish, pasta, organic peanut butter, blueberries, strawberries, papaya, sweet potato, pieces of cooked chicken, whole grain breads and crackers, plain yogurt, celery or other veggies sticks, and fruit slices are high in minerals and vitamins.

5. Avoid getting your kids to eat healthy food by bribing with junk food. This puts an emotional value on 'treats' which teaches kids to feed their emotions.

6. Avoid eating in front of the TV. This should be a non-negotiable rule for everyone in the family. Mindless eating disconnects us from the food on our plate and may cause overeating and poor digestion.

Read More: Brains Can be Trained to Love Healthy Food

7. Do not invite power struggles by making your child eat everything on their plate. Offer up reasonable food selections and let the child choose what to eat.

8. Don't give your child undue attention for not eating. Respect their choices.

9. Avoid making special meals for each child. It's disrespectful to you and allows the child to manipulate and control.

10. Take your kids shopping with you and play games that teach your child how to make healthy choices.

For example, the 'Color Game' sends your child down the produce aisle with the following instructions: Pick two yellows, two reds, and two greens. Be sure to let them know that the darker the color, the greater the nutrients.

Or, 'Pick 5' is a game that can be played on any aisle and helps your child to learn which foods help them to grow. Ask your child to pick five foods that will help them to grow. Teach them to read labels and look for words like 'whole' as in whole grain.

11. Consider making nutrient dense food by using some of the new cookbooks for parents that hide vegetables in recipes. Adding foods such as zucchini and carrots in pasta sauce, avocado in chocolate pudding, pumpkin, apple and banana in muffins and cakes, makes these food much more substantial and healthy. Do not be sneaky about it, though. If the child asks, it is important to be honest about how you are preparing the food. This creates a bond of trust.

12. Encourage family fitness. Children can learn that a healthy body is not limited to healthy foods alone. Children who exercise are more fit and will live healthier and longer lives.

Read more:  10 Fruits and Veggies to Plant With Your Kids

Getting kids to eat well also requires that parents take a look at what they're doing to encourage healthy choices. Do your eating habits set a good example for your children? If not, then making small changes to your diet is the first place to start.

Also, it's likely not realistic to totally eliminate junk food. Let's face it, the stuff tastes good. Don't go crazy if your kids ask for it, but consider limiting it to special occasions such as the Super Bowl, birthday parties, and so on and be sure the product is non-GMO and free of Scary Seven ingredients. The key here is to move toward healthier choices and to avoid making a big issue about food.

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Terry Carson, M.Ed. is Naturally Savvy’s Certified Parenting Coach.

She is an educator and mother of four. A popular resource as a parenting coach expert throughout North America, she’s been featured repeatedly in the media including The Globe and Mail, Today’s Parent, Planet Parent, Save Us From Our House, Breakfast Televison, Yummy Mummy and countless radio shows and publications.

Terry helps her parent clients get back their control without spanking or shouting. Her most popular workshop, You’re Not The Boss of Me!, provides seventeen strategies to get rid of whining, not listening, complaining, temper tantrums, and other power struggles.

To reach Terry, email her at Terry(at)naturallySavvy(dot)com

For more information on Terry and her workshops, visit: www.TheParentingCoach.ca

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One hot day in June, I was helping out at my kids' local elementary school's Fun Day where one of the moms was handing out snow cones. There was a choice of five colors: red, green, blue, orange, and yellow. Some children were indecisive about which color to take and so the line-up got longer and longer. Some gave up waiting and left, feeling angry and frustrated. Those that stayed ended up missing some of the Fun Fair. In the organizers' defense, they were being democratic and it seemed appropriate at the time. Clearly the reality was quite different. It was unnecessary to offer this many choices. Had there been only one choice of flavor, I assure you that the line-up that day would have been just as long and the kids would have been happy with getting a cold refreshing treat.

As parents, we don't have to always give children choices. If you are guilty of offering too many choices, cut back. Decide which choices really help your child evaluate and process. For example, giving her a choice in the middle of a power struggle is far more effective in building her sense of self than giving her a choice over red or blue socks.

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Giving a child a choice empowers him/her unlike punishment, rewards, or bribes. The use of these methods belongs to the authoritarian system and the firm establishment of power.  In a system of equals, a job gets done because it needs doing, and satisfaction comes from the harmony of two people doing a job together.  In a system of rewards and praise, kids can easily get into the habit of doing work only when they get a payoff.  An attitude develops of “what’s in it for me.”  This is a dangerous cycle.  It can create a kind of bribery in the household – a desire to be good because of the reward they will get. Children don’t need bribery to be good.  They actually want to be good.  Good behavior on the part of the child comes from her desire to belong, to contribute usefully, and to co-operate.  When we bribe a child for good behavior, we are in effect showing him that we don’t trust him, which is a form of discouragement.  Rewards are a sign of approval ‘in the moment’, but what about the next moment?  In our sometimes mistaken efforts to win co-operation through rewards, we are actually denying our children the basic satisfaction of a job well done. This is not to say that we don’t treat a child for a job well done, but be cautious about attaching the treat to the work. Saying, “If you get the vacuuming done, then I will take you out for lunch” is very different from saying, “Now that the vacuuming is done, let’s go out for lunch.  I’m hungry, aren’t you?”

There are some choices, decisions and responsibilities that parents keep for themselves, because some things are not negotiable.  Parents need to decide whether or not the choice is age appropriate and is not life threatening, morally threatening, or unhealthy/unsafe.  For example, for some parents, not going to worship on designated days is not an option.  For others, attending a party where drinking is involved means not giving the kid the keys to the family car. Traffic on your street means that the child must play in a fenced yard.  The bed time hour may be firmly established for 8:00 pm and not negotiable, but giving a child a choice if they want to brush their teeth or read a story first may be perfectly acceptable.  Different parents will make different choices for themselves and their families.

When it comes to making decisions and choices here are some tips to help you help your child:

1.  Begin by sitting down with your child.

2.  Clearly define the problem.

3.  Brainstorm and come up with as many solutions as possible

4.  Look at the options and discuss the possible outcomes of each.

5.  Decide with your child the best course of action.

6.  Follow through to make sure the plan is carried out.

Terry Carson, M.Ed. is Naturally Savvy’s Certified Parenting Coach. For more information on Terry and her workshops, visit: www.TheParentingCoach.ca

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